You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
