You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
