She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
