If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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