I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
