honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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