I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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