I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
