In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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