I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
