Those balls look pretty dangerous.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
