addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Randomize
