my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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