Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
