I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
He has the fingertips of a God
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