Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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