All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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