So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
