Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
