I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
