Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
