So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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