question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
