That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
