She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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