sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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