glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
