My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize