Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Me too!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
