the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
