yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
