they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
