So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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