we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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