we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
