Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
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He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize