He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
