Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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