do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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