your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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