Her vagina should come with caution tape.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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