I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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