They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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