nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
