I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
How's work?
Spinning.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
