im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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