dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
