That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
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saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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