so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
