Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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