Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
