Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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