I want to make a zoo with you.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
