I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
thus making me awesome and them whores
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
We're too hungover to prance.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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