I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
