Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize