I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
my sisters under your porch take her home
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
