Rock
Scissors
Fuck
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
