I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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