I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my phone needs a breathalizer
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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