There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
