you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
