oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize