I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
